ryu2's Xanga

Not your typical gushy Christian homecoming letter

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 07:57:15 GMT

While I consider myself a believer in Christ, I've realized more that faith can express and manifest itself in different ways to different people.

I strive to be a witness to others, but I also believe that evangelical "culture" (especially in America or promulgated by American organizations) can often be full of legalism, insularity, groupthink and emotional rhetoric, so I found it refreshing to take a step back at times and build relationships with people who like intellectual questions and challenges, while experiencing a variety of activities and lifestyles.

And thus, my soundbite summary of spiritual revelation during my time in Asia. Something tells me this won't make it into the GrX Unstoppable newsletter...

In any case, it's good to be back. =) To delve into a new job, to start (re)discovery of community old and new, having the new benefit of seeing through the lens of overseas experience -- and in a way, to finally finish healing...

Why?

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 09:13:19 GMT

Now that the news is out, I feel like I'm able to finally write here again. Indeed, as I approach my final month of this current China adventure, free from full-time work, I've been doing a lot of introspection lately on the last three years: both looking back, and looking forward -- tackling questions that have risen, or perhaps always lingered on my mind, but haven't been fully developed in the hustle and bustle of this city.

So here goes the first one: why?

Indeed, not just that but why now of all times? After three years I'm just hitting my stride in starting to enjoy Shanghai as a resident and not someone on an extended business trip. I'm at a point where I finally have balance in life, and my spiritual walk is slowly getting back on track after the hell of last year.

Furthermore, many of you are probably asking: didn't you want to go for "a higher purpose"? As anyone who knew me during the first half of this decade can attest to, I was very much a modern Hudson "If I had a thousand lives, I'd give them all to China" Taylor. I went to Urbana (twice), attended WCC (thrice, even serving on its Planning Committee), took Perspectives...   Every one of those events always seemed to have some speaker who, despite furious parental opposition, gave up a lucrative stateside career to pursue "His calling" on "the field". For five years between my first "summer project" and a professionally-relevant path to return as a tentmaker finally opening up, I was telling everyone and anyone who'd listen about my dream.

So, am I selling out? Was my fervor not genuine? Worse, am I just "another casualty" on the field?

Sure, my new job is with "a great company", "a great professional fit for me" and "I'll learn a lot", yadda yadda yadda. I even have some tickets to that grand Silicon Valley lottery, aka "pre-IPO stock options." But those were just a small part of the equation, so I'll skip that and focus on what made me realize that I could say yes to this new opportunity without much reservation, confident in Paul's words that He who began a good work will carry it to completion.

First, a main goal of mine has been accomplished in a way. There were very few specific ones, mind you. But I did have at least one -- that of helping to get GrX and its congregation "plugged into" China. I came with a broad vision, trying to learn the key players and map the landscape, and network and build relationships with them on the ground, relationships that I could then pass on to the GrX leadership as they wondered (like many groups, secular and otherwise) just how to "enter the China market" so to speak.

It took several vision trips and a strategic detour or two -- but now that we've identified a partnership, I'm glad we have someone to execute it. I'm thankful for Jeff and his heart, and that in a way, I'm passing on the torch of GrX's "rep" in China to him.

Second, while everyone here knows people staying five, 10, even 20+ years here, the average half-life for expats (whether involved in business, government, or "other stuff") is around two years -- not one, not three, but two. I've realized there's probably a reason: year one is effectively "learning the ropes", transitioning from survival to exploration mode. It's followed by another year, working and going deeper -- but nevertheless with a finish line visible in front, acting as a goal that keeps lethargic apathy from setting in.    So in a way, I'm ahead of the curve already here. But it was never a numbers game for me, and never a competition.

Most importantly, these three years have taught me like never before about myself, my strengths and my weaknesses -- how I communicate, approach relationships, etc.

You can have all the orientation, preparation, briefings, and training in the world, but no matter the quantity or quality, it doesn't hold a candle to actually living overseas, for getting to really know yourself -- your strengths, weaknesses, and how you react under stress factors you would never see in the sedateness of Suburbia, USA. This is a race most strange... one where the players often don't know how they ought to be equipped until they spend time playing in the field.

Thus in this expat life of learning by doing, I've gotten a better sense of just what I need to be thus strengthened with... and that knowledge is what lets me return home with a sense of accomplishment for now, ready to "take a breather" and seek a community that provides healing where necessary but also development, with a much better focus by virtue of my experiences here, both the good and the not-so-good.

So is this goodbye to China? No, it's not, that I'm sure of... if anything.   You can think of me being "on furlough." My time back in the states is a temporary one. The Chinese word for farewell literally means see you again, and it's a apt one for me too. So 再见 for now, and see you around...

Moving on...

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 10:54:37 GMT

Some of you have heard already, but I guess this makes it official: come late August, I will leaving Shanghai and returning to my roots in the Silicon Valley, USA to join an early stage tech startup.

I'll be with Cooliris, based in Menlo Park, CA, USA and focused on changing the way we interact with online media. In my new role, I will be responsible for leading the architecture of our next-generation graphics engine, building out a development team, and helping to drive our expansion into new platforms and applications.

While I am truly thankful to be close again to family and friends, and to be working with a talented and visionary group of people pursuing an area of long-time interest, I certainly have mixed feelings about leaving this city and country that slowly but surely, I have come to call home -- and most of all -- you and everyone else in the incredible community here, local and expat, spanning all worldviews and walks of life. It's definitely been an exciting ride, with moments of triumph and trial, but ultimately memorable: friendship, learning, and seeing first-hand amazing economic, social and other transformation here.

I made the decision not because I'm tired of China in the least bit, but rather because I feel this is a perfect opportunity to be equipped -- professionally and otherwise -- to eventually return. One thing's for sure: I view this stint back home as temporary, and I still hope to be involved some way even then.

I'm currently back in the Bay Area until July 27th, and then will be back in China (SH, with some travel to BJ, HK and maybe elsewhere) for the next month or so. I anticipate that my move back will be completed around August 30th.

** For those in SH, I'll be having a farewell event the last week of August -- tentatively evening/night of Friday, August 29th so save the date! =) ** Venue TBD, but somewhere in Puxi. If you can't make it for sure, I would still love to catch up, so let me know and I'll try to make time, one way or the other. Or if you ever come to the Bay Area, please let me know.

To my friends in SH and the rest of China -- thank you for being part of an unforgettable journey these last three years. Please do keep in touch and here's to many more in the future, on either side of the Pacific.

Cheers,

Mark

PS: ** On a more immediate note, I am seeking someone (or two, or three...) to take over my apartment lease in the Jing An area, starting in September. ** If you're interested or know people who may be, please let me know and I can give you the details.

PPS: I will probably want to sell/get rid of various furniture, electronic, and other sundry items as well, so if you're looking for something let me know, and chances are I might have it. ;)

China according to the Shanghainese

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:29:28 GMT

Got this forward from a friend. Sorry, don't have time to translate this now for non-Chinese readers, but trust me -- funny, irreverent at times, and yet so true... =)

The cat's out of the bag

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:22:41 GMT

My last day at MSFT is June 30th. So all of you have exactly two weeks to use me for my employee discount on software, hardware, and Xboxes. Email me if you want me to get something for you.

PS: If you haven't talked to me in years but come out of the woodwork to take me up on this offer, I promise I won't be offended. =)

From the WSJ

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:13:03 GMT

China Opens Doors
To Quake Relief,
But Not Missionaries
By GEOFFREY A. FOWLER
May 31, 2008; Page A2
CHENGDU, China -- After the May 12 earthquake that devastated Sichuan province, Jonathan Bright, a 30-year-old American teacher at a Christian school in South Korea, gathered disaster supplies and headed to the quake zone to help. He never made it.

Before his flight from Beijing to Sichuan's capital city got under way, Mr. Bright says he dropped a card that had references to scripture and details about a Christian radio station in the airplane's restroom. That drew the attention of the flight crew and police came on board and questioned him about his intentions. They released him -- to take another flight to the quake zone, if he wished. Mr. Bright decided to return home.
"They cared only because they thought I was trying to make new Christians," he says.
With nearly 69,000 dead and an additional 18,618 people still listed as missing as of Friday, China has opened its doors to outside aid in the form of money, supplies and volunteers.
There's one caveat on the more than 160 million yuan ($23 million) in aid that the government says has come in from religious groups, both inside and outside of China: No missionary work.
Mr. Bright's experience reflects the tensions and suspicions kindled by Christian aid to Chinese who are suffering in the aftermath of the 7.9-magnitude quake. In an issue that surfaced with the Olympic Games and more recently with the quake, evangelicals, long at odds with Communist Party leaders over religious freedom, are philosophically split in the way they approach a government wary of religion it can't control.
On the one hand, some evangelicals live up to the letter of Beijing's strict religious controls. For others, some of whom skirt China's restrictions, religion transcends earthly politics.
"When Jesus said go out to the world and preach the gospel, he didn't say just go to those places where you can get a visa," says Carl Moeller, the Santa Ana, California-based president of persecuted Christian support group Open Doors. "To do evangelism in its purest sense is not about politics."
China has long stipulated that foreigners who pursue religious activities inside its borders must abide by a set of rules, which include bans on religious brochures and proselytizing without permission. Chinese Christian churches are required to register with and report to the government. However, tens of millions of worshipers in Christian "house churches" refuse to register, and face police harassment and arrest, their leaders say.
Franklin Graham, president and chief executive of aid organization Samaritan's Purse and son of evangelical pioneer Billy Graham, says he has no qualms about holding back on religious activity if it enables him to deliver aid to the quake victims.
"When people are dying, you demonstrate the love of God by just being there with them and responding," he says. "This isn't the time that you want to preach. There are opportunities for that later."
When the quake struck, Mr. Graham was already in China, on an official visit with government religious-affairs officials and Chinese-sanctioned churches. He immediately promised $300,000 for the officially registered churches and used his access to begin negotiating with authorities for a larger airlift of supplies. Mr. Graham says his was the first U.S. nongovernmental organization to land supplies in Chengdu, Sichuan's capital city.
Officials never explicitly told Mr. Graham that his organization couldn't engage in evangelism, he says, but he "knew the ground rules" going in. "We never asked to preach in Sichuan," he says. "We just said we are Christians."
Mr. Graham caused a stir in evangelical circles in May when he called on visitors during this summer's Olympics to take note of Chinese law that forbids tourists from engaging in religious activity. "I am not telling anybody not to preach," he says. "But our actions could be detrimental to the church-and-state relationship."
Last week, when Samaritan's Purse launched a 747 filled with supplies to Chengdu, the group was joined at a news conference in Charlotte, N.C., by a representative of the Chinese Embassy. The supplies, which included more than $1 million in tents and water-filtration systems, have been distributed via the Chinese government and military, after training sessions in how to use the equipment by Samaritan's Purse staff.
Another large Christian charity organization, Operation Blessing, says it never proselytizes anywhere in the world, and has a longstanding relationship with the Chinese government.
For Christian organizations distributing aid through less-official routes in China, there are fewer strings attached, but risks to working outside the system.
"We give out the tents and say, 'Jesus loves you,' " says Bob Fu, president of the U.S.-based China Aid Association, which supports underground churches.
On Monday, his group sent volunteers into China to deliver 20 family-size tents to the needy via their contacts at nonsanctioned Chinese churches in the quake zone. "We want to pray for them, comfort their heart and give them counseling. What these victims need is holistic, not just physical needs of water and food," Mr. Fu says.
That could put his volunteers, and those from other unofficial Chinese churches, in danger. Mr. Fu says he has heard reports of three Chinese Christian volunteers being detained by police for praying while delivering aid. Sichuan's religious-affairs bureau didn't respond to questions on the matter.
As for Mr. Bright, the Christian teacher who was taken off his plane to Chengdu, his aid for quake victims ended up going through official channels. Before he left China, he says, a friendly taxi driver in Beijing took him to a government agency that was collecting donations, where he dropped off his supplies.
"It seemed to be a direct answer to prayer," he says.

I have substantial personal opinions on this issue but as always, life is busy, so I'll save them for another time. While I'm liking my biz trip back to the states, as I always do, part of me still wishes I could be back right now and see how society in this country is changing, slowly at times, abruptly at others, but always inexorably transforming to something -- but what?

In their words

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 03:42:10 GMT

"No protesting group truly expects that their public display of anger and outrage at China’s treatment of Tibetans or ethnic Han dissidents will change China’s policy when it affects its core security concerns. They know no government can give ground on any core issue under such public duress, whatever the merits of the arguments. So whatever the intentions of the demonstrators, the people of China believe they want to inflict maximum humiliation on China and the Chinese people more than the Chinese government. The outrage in China, especially among the young, can be read on the flooded internet bulletin boards, all carrying virulent anti-foreign sentiments. Pity they are in unintelligible Chinese ideographs. Were they in the English language, young Americans and Europeans would realise that these displays of contempt for China and things Chinese will have consequences in their lifetime, well beyond the Olympic Games." -- Lee Hsien Loong, Prime Minister of Singapore

"You cannot superimpose the human rights and democracy environment of a Western country onto other countries. That is the error that the West and the Western media makes. This does not work at all and this must stop." -- Pervez Musharraf, President of Pakistan

New Year musings from the fragrant harbour

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 13:56:30 GMT

Three years in the Middle Kingdom, going on four.

A year ago, I was in Hong Kong, at this exact same place, under these exact same circumstances... in confident hope that Someone would bestow new beginnings in the new year, and a thawing of a wintered soul.

And yet, the promise of spring soon turned out to be a false one.

2007 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure. In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an Annus Horribilis.

-- with apologies to HRH Queen Elizabeth II.

Fast forward a year later. Astute supporters and/or stalkers will ask how I'm doing now. After all, the image this blog paints is that of someone who within the space of a year and a half, went from spending his Saturday nights preparing talks for local "groups" (taking the trouble to look up and translate "sp" words) to being in an advanced state of inebriation in smoked-filled venues accompanied by the pulsating beat of the hiphop/R&B star du jour.

A modern day prodigal son story, if you will... or is it?

Is the year of the rat shaping up as a spiritual rebound for me? Yes. And I am thankful to the Father for this.

But was the pig year really worthy of the Queen's Latin nominal? Ironically it was against the backdrop of this winter, in the midst of hurt and disappointment, that I found my biggest blessing to date in my Shanghai sojourn: (fortuitously) meeting Christian brothers and sisters that don't fit into the traditional ev/church "mold", and from there, experiencing authentic, organic, spontaneous community like I had never experienced before on either side of the Pacific.

It jived with me, because I've long held the conviction that as believers, we need to break out of our bubble, to be in the world, while remaining not of the world. Equating faith with a certain defined lifestyle is a fallacy, all the more in a city as diverse as Shanghai. As a like-minded friend once shared with me, such a if-then relationship proves comforting to people because it gives them a clearly defined framework, but it isn't the life of freedom that Christ gives. And it isn't the life in in this mercurial city, where modes and ideas come and go as fast as people and buildings.

One could say I've been following a Jeffersonian policy -- upholding the spiritual values I hold dear, working towards seeing them promulgated throughout this city and country... but at the same time, avoiding "entangling alliances" on my own part, and realizing no one group -- or even worldview in general -- has a monopoly on loving the city.

How will it all play out? Should I go "deep" this year rather than being "broad"? Only He knows. But I feel that this year will be one of continuing this momentum -- doubtless with new lessons to be learned and processed along the way. Therefore, in welcoming this new year, I also present some requests and desires to "think" about.

*** Spiritual guy mentor/discipler. aka: big brother, da ge, dai lo, hyung. In my three years in China, this has been the one void in my sphere that has never been filled. I've certainly had good peers that I can relate to, celebrate and commiserate with, and those I advise and help steer myself, but someone who keeps it real, and explicitly provides guidance and counsel, like (eg) Justin or Min in previous lives... is someone has yet to materialize for me on this side of the Pacific.

*** Connecting people. aka: just call me "Nokia"... ;). Building bridges between people, groups, organizations, ideas -- there are few riper places to do it right now than Shanghai. [I certainly make no claim that I am the only one to realize and work towards this -- far from it.] Indeed, this has been the undercurrent of my life... even long before China was even on my radar, reflected in the areas of study and career I pursued (computer graphics and games... inherently a bridge between art, mathematics and science).

Returning to the present, a third demographic of "expat" in China is emerging. I'm not saying "Christian expat", I said expat, period. Increasingly, the people who are landing on these shores are not part of the traditional two categories: 1. well-heeled executives/diplomats with cushy packages living in villas with chauffeurs, or 2. teachers/aid workers with various (secular or otherwise) "non-profit organizations". Rather, they are independent professionals [I do not use the word "tentmaker" because as I said, this is not just a Christian phenomenon] who want to make a difference here, professionally, socially, or otherwise, and are willing to take a pay cut (rather than a raise in the form of a expat package) for China's sake... but coming without a plan or being "backed". I call them "free agents".

How do we bring them together with the other stakeholders in our community in order to catalyze change... how do we welcome and embrace them and their talent... to enable them to not just survive, but thrive in this milieu? How do we come across as a unified body, of many different backgrounds, capacities, and even worldviews -- cooperating where it makes sense while retaining our own distinct values in other areas?

*** This brings me to my final point, that of reconciliation. As some of you know, our body in Shanghai has not been without internal conflict over the last couple of years. Such conflict -- while not of the physical variety -- has still had a cost for all parties involved: mental and emotional energy better used elsewhere.

Yes, I still view the status quo as suboptimal, but I've moved on, have found new and supportive community and thus no longer view reconciliation as a necessary thing for me to get on with life. The destructive blame game is no more in my thoughts. For this healing, I am thankful. Thus, while I could repeat the usual exhortations in the Book about unity in the Body, I instead feel confident that I've already done what is possible by man, and the ball is not in my court anymore.

So why do I still lift this matter up? I realize and am thankful that I can boast in my own weaknesses [2 Cor 12:5-7], and that this thorn in my flesh, if anything is to happen to it -- can only testify to His work and His intervention.

So to this end, I lift it up -- and indeed, all our worries... that if He could redeem and once again use someone as imperfect as me here, that He could likewise do so for anyone.

And thus, I approach 2008 forgetting the past and looking forward to the future.

A happy and prosperous year of the rat to everyone, no matter where in the world you are! =)

Today's man

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:10:15 GMT

Navigating Life With Humor and Bewilderment

James Estrin/The New York Times

By FELICIA R. LEE

Published: January 8, 2008

揑 think the wind created me,?says Nicky Gottlieb, the subject of 揟oday抯 Man,?a documentary that has its television premiere on Tuesday night on most PBS stations. Mr. Gottlieb, who in the film offers his theory of how the world was formed, has Asperger抯 syndrome, a form of autism, and his sister, Lizzie Gottlieb, spent six years committing his life to film. She depicts a highly intelligent man addicted to television, socially inappropriate, self-aware about his condition and negotiating the world with both humor and bewilderment.

揚hysically, I抦 a man,?Mr. Gottlieb says at the beginning of 揟oday抯 Man,?which tracks his quest, beginning at 21, to hold a job, get an apartment, make friends. 揃ut mentally and emotionally, I抦 a boy; I抦 still a child.?/p>

His mother, the actress Maria Tucci, has to remind Mr. Gottlieb to shower, for example. We see his father, Robert Gottlieb, a dance critic for The New York Observer and a former editor in chief of The New Yorker, lovingly shaving a son who is often too distracted for that task.

[The rest of the article from the NYT.]

I thought long and hard about posting this because as you might imagine, this topic hits very close to home for me personally.

Yet I ultimately felt compelled to share this article, openly on this blog no less, not out of even the least desire for self-illumination -- but rather to applaud the filmmaker for helping to shed light on, and perhaps catalyze a change in perception of this multi-faceted issue in today's sound-bite society.

argh

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 17:07:03 GMT

I both love and hate how small this city and its expat community really is. How I run into people I really want to avoid at the randomest places at the most unexpected timing... really, it's cool when it's someone you really wanna see, but if it's someone you really wanna avoid, seriously, these random coincidences are just a big pain.

Argh.